


John and Sherlock's Anti-Valentine's Day Party

by fanperson



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, M/M, Nail art, Valentine's Day Fluff, kitten tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:12:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6028939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanperson/pseuds/fanperson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock finished sticking the cat on and sat back on the sofa.  “Well, the next time you want a decapitated kitten on your face, don’t come looking for my help.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	John and Sherlock's Anti-Valentine's Day Party

“John, are we having a party tomorrow?” Sherlock asked, turning away from the computer to look at his flatmate, who was washing dishes.

“Yes, kind of. A very small party.”  
Sherlock looked at him in a way that indicated further explanation was necessary.

“Well, I was talking to Molly at the lab last week and she said she was rather depressed that it was going to be Valentine’s Day and she didn’t have anyone to be with.”

“Boring,” Sherlock replied, looking back at the computer.

“She was almost crying and I just blurted out that maybe she could come over here and then she got all excited and said that we could have an Anti-Valentine’s Day Party,” John was drying the dishes now, setting them carefully in stacks on the counter.

“Is this why I got an email invitation to be at my own flat on Sunday evening? An invitation that has an image of two kittens with a “heart” that has been cracked down the center?”

“I suppose. I wasn’t sure if you were actually invited or not.”

“How could I not be invited to a party at my own flat? Was the plan to lock me in my room? Send me downstairs so Mrs. Hudson can babysit while the grown-ups have fun?”

“Actually, I think Mrs. H is coming so we were looking into other babysitters. Wiggins was an option but apparently he has a date. And Lestrade is coming. The other sitters charge too much, we can’t afford it. So, you’ll just have to be good,” John smiled and Sherlock glared at him.

“So, the purpose of this party is to express one’s opposition to Valentine’s Day?” Sherlock rested his chin in his hand.

“In a way. It is just people who are single getting together so they won’t be lonely and can have some fun on Valentine’s Day even if they don’t have a romantic love interest.”

Sherlock was silent for a minute and then looked up, oddly serious. “Are you lonely, John?”

“Nah. I’m good. You keep me too busy to be lonely,” John had been looking around the room and only made eye contact with Sherlock during his last statement. He suddenly turned rather pink and spun around to the sink. Sherlock smiled to himself and wandered to the sitting room.

The next morning, Molly was at the door at 7 A.M., dragging a giant heart piñata and several other bags of supplies. She had apparently already dressed for the occasion in a tight black dress, skull earrings, and dark purple lipstick. Sherlock refrained from commenting on her appearance as he opened the door and let her slip in. John was yawning at the kitchen table.

“Molly! You’re here early. What’s all this?”

She smiled and stuttered a bit before beginning, “Well, it’s the supplies, for the party. It’s going to take a bit to get the piñata up and ready, and the nail art station, and the food, you know? I just wanted to make sure it’s all ready.” Molly started placing boxes from her bag on the coffee table.

Sherlock opened his mouth to speak and John cut him off with a glare. “Sounds great. We’ll just be getting ready too then. Sherlock can help you with the piñata since he’s the tallest.”

Sherlock went over to the light pink heart and turned it around and around in his hands, furrowing his eyebrows, “You know that…”

Molly cut him off and grabbed back the piñata. “Yes, Sherlock, John’s a medical doctor and I’m a pathologist. I think we both realize that this is not what the human heart actually looks like and that the human heart is not actually the seat of emotions.” She started pouring candy into a hole in the bottom of the piñata.

Sherlock made an “I surrender” gesture with his hands and started to move away.

“No, you stay here and be tall and help me to hang this thing up.”

The rest of the morning passed in a similar fashion. Sherlock became obsessed with reading the instructions for the nail art station and sulked when Molly forbade him from actually opening any of the fixatives. John focused on making various heart-shaped food items which Molly then viciously cut up into little pieces, saying that they couldn’t have any actual heart-shaped foods because this was an “Anti-Valentine’s Day” party after all. Shortly before noon Molly dragged out a large punch bowl and began pouring alcohol into it. When the punch was done, Molly announced that she needed to taste-test it and poured herself a large glass before settling on the sofa. John raised his eyebrows and looked at Sherlock as he cleared away the bottles of liquor and fruit punch. 

Molly then began searching through her bag until she pulled out a DVD case. “Want to watch a movie?” she said, turning to look back at John. John took the case from her and looked at it, “Heathers? It says it’s about a sociopath that helps Winona Ryder kill teenage girls. We do have impressionable young minds here…” John said turning to look back at Sherlock, who had settled down on the opposite side of the sofa from Molly.

“Don’t worry, John. Adolescent females are hardly ever worth murdering. Why don’t you make us some popcorn?” John put the DVD in the player and returned to the kitchen.

After Molly finished her second glass of punch she decided to get some temporary tattoos out and applied a glittery skull and crossbones to her left cheek and then used scissors to decapitate a kitten tattoo to put on her right cheek. She couldn’t quite manage aligning the kitten on her own so Sherlock was drafted into helping. She laid flat on her back on the sofa and Sherlock hovered above her, trying to position the cat’s head artistically next to its body. Molly stared up at him. “You have quite a lot of nose hair,” she said.

Sherlock finished sticking the cat on and sat back on the sofa. “Well, the next time you want a decapitated kitten on your face, don’t come looking for my help.”

Touching the tattoos carefully with her fingertips, Molly settled back on the sofa and began nudging Sherlock’s legs with her toes. “Could you go sit on the chair, you’re taking up all the space,” she said and then threw a piece of popcorn into Sherlock’s hair.

“I’m taking up all the space?” He raised his eyebrows and looked back at her. “You know, it was so much nicer when you just did whatever I wanted.”

“Ha!” Molly laughed, her mouth full of popcorn. “Can’t believe I used to fancy you.” For some reason this statement brought on a fit of hysterical laughter which made Molly nearly choke on her popcorn until she was spitting out pieces onto the coffee table. She then flopped back onto the sofa, turned her head into the corner, and fell asleep. John came over and stared down at her while she snored softly into the sofa cushion. “Probably for the best,” he said, looking over at Sherlock while sliding the package of glitter tattoos out of Molly’s sleeping hand. The rest of the afternoon passed with Molly curled up and drooling on the sofa, Sherlock dismantling the nail art materials and organizing them with a seriousness typically reserved for chemical experiments, and John baking heart cupcakes and hiding them on top of the refrigerator.

At just past six, they heard Mrs. Hudson’s tentative knocking at the door. 

“Hello, boys! Happy Valentine’s Day!” She fluttered in and placed a heart shaped pie on the table before wandering over to where Molly was on the sofa and making a concerned face. “What have you done to her? She was a lovely girl and now her lips have gone purple and her face has skulls and cats on it.” She looked at Sherlock suspiciously.

“I haven’t done anything to her. She was the one who insisted on cutting the cat’s head off before we applied it.” Sherlock turned and made his way back to the nail art/tattoo station.

Molly’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled at Mrs. Hudson. “Mrs. H! You’re here! Now we can get the party started.” She jumped up and moved towards the punch bowl and began filling glasses, handing one to each of them before she started drinking. 

Just then, the door opened and Greg stepped through. “Sorry, I was knocking but no one answered.” 

Smiling, Molly moved towards the door and handed Greg a drink. “Hullo, Greg!” 

Greg glanced over her face and dress and said, “Hello, Molly. You look nice. The cat head really brings out your… er… eyes.”

Molly grinned and gestured to the large pink heart looming in the center of the room, “Now that everyone is here, we can do the piñata! Oh, but we don’t have anything to hit it with.” Molly glanced around the room.

“Not to worry.” Sherlock went into his bedroom and returned with the leather flogger. 

John eyed his flatmate and the instrument with concern. “When was the last time that was cleaned?” 

Sherlock ignored John’s question in favor of taking some practice swings at the wall.

“Why don’t we let Mrs. H go first?” John said hurriedly, grabbing a kitchen towel to use as a blindfold and plucking the flogger from Sherlock’s hands. After 10 minutes of Mrs. Hudson nearly lashing each of them and entirely missing the piñata, Sherlock became impatient and grabbed the flogger from her. “It’s not really so difficult,” he said, tying the blindfold around his face and taking some practice swings while the rest of the party backed into the kitchen. He cracked the piñata with the first swing but continued lashing at it until it was a pile of mangled paper on the floor. When he took the blindfold off, Sherlock was flushed and breathing heavily. Still barricaded in the kitchen, John, Mrs. Hudson, and Molly had looks of horror on their faces. Lestrade was leaning against the table, drinking a beer and smiling. 

“Not good?” Sherlock asked, still breathing heavily. John emerged from the kitchen and took the flogger from his flatmate’s hand. “No, that was excellent. Superb piñata destruction. Everyone was a bit afraid to try and get the candy and well you probably shouldn’t attend any children’s parties in the near future but other than that you did great.” 

Sherlock smiled. “Well, if we’re going to hang objects and beat them for entertainment we should get a variety of different densities and fillings. Parts of a pig carcass might work well…” 

John cut him off with “Maybe for your birthday then.” 

Molly had settled herself at the nail art station. “Who’s first for nail art? Mrs. Hudson? John?” John grimaced and Mrs. Hudson hurried over to sit at the station where Molly began laying out her wares.

“I had better drink some more before I am drafted into being a nail art model.” John said and moved to the kitchen where Lestrade was drinking another beer.

“Or a cat tattoo model.” Sherlock pointed out. “Although I can see a kitten looking quite nice right here,” Sherlock said, tracing his finger in a circle on John’s lower back. “What do they call them? Tramp stamps? You definitely need a tramp stamp, John. I’ll discuss it with Molly.” Sherlock winked and moved over to whisper in Molly’s ear.

“How much punch has he had?” John asked. Lestrade just laughed and replied, “None, I think,” while he continued looking over at Molly and Sherlock. Molly looked back over at the two of them and yelled, “Your turn, Greg!” while taking another sip of her punch. “And you next, John!” she added. John sank back onto the sofa and continued chugging his beer. 

Molly had been disappointed that Mrs. Hudson would only agree to have her nails painted red with heart decals, so Greg had agreed to allow his to be decorated with some type of skull paper that required a hair dryer to set it. John watched as Sherlock carefully cut the paper for the nails while Molly applied it and aimed the hair dryer while Greg grimaced. After a few minutes, Sherlock walked back over to John and sat on the couch to watch Greg and Molly giggling together.

Mrs. Hudson disappeared back to 221A and the apartment became dim, illuminated by only a few lamps and the streetlights outside. “Why don’t we give those two some space?” John asked and looked at Sherlock as Greg brushed a hair away from Molly’s face and tucked it behind her ear. The pair seemed oblivious to their hosts as they continued to talk together. John got up from the couch and pulled Sherlock up by the hand. “But it’s our flat. They’re being rude.” Sherlock followed closely behind as John went into the kitchen and started making tea. Sherlock settled at the table and waited while John got out two mugs and the tea pot before sitting across from him at the table. Molly and Greg could still be heard laughing and John smiled, looking down at the table. 

“John, are you quite alright? You’re smiling but it looks wrong somehow.”

“I’m fine, Sherlock.”

“You are lonely.”

“No, I’m not. I happy being here with you. I don’t need anyone else.”

Sherlock look startled. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. I’m not planning on doing that again, what Greg and Molly are doing. I’m happy just being here with you as long as you’ll have me.”

Sherlock’s eyes widened even further. “I always imagined that this was just temporary. Until you found another woman to get married to.”

“Nah, I think I am done with all that.”

“John, that doesn’t make sense. When you lived with me before if you didn’t have sex with a woman at least once every 14 days you became extremely irritable. I don’t imagine any arrangement where you never have sex again is going to be feasible in the long-term.”

“Perhaps sex just isn’t as important to me anymore. I suppose I might still have sex occasionally. I’m not taking a life-long vow of celibacy or anything.”

The living room had gone quiet except for low murmuring. Greg and Molly came into the kitchen looking somewhat disheveled. Greg looked back and forth at Sherlock and John before speaking, “Sorry to interrupt. I think Molly and I are going to head home now. Thanks for a great party.” Molly smiled. Half of her glitter tattoo had been rubbed off. After they closed the door, John got up and began stacking dishes in the sink. Sherlock remained at the table, watching him closely for a few minutes until he broke the silence.

“But, you are still interested in that?” Sherlock asked quickly.

“Interested in what?” 

“THAT. What Molly and Greg were likely doing on our sofa.”

“Snogging? Yes, I suppose so. Like I said, not exactly a priority or anything.”

“I’m amenable.” Sherlock said and then looked at the table.

“Amenable to what? Me snogging people?”

“Yes, but that’s not quite what I meant. I meant that I’m amenable to kissing, snogging, you, if you would be interested. Just wanted to put it on the table. As an option.” Sherlock had turned quite pink. He got up and turned from the table, heading towards his bedroom. John quickly caught Sherlock’s hand and pulled him around to face him. Seeing the look of shock on Sherlock’s face, John carefully wrapped his arms around his flatmate’s shoulders.

Sherlock looked panicked. “I didn’t really mean to make that offer.”

“Did you mean it though?”

Sherlock nodded and John kissed him on the cheek, slowly making his way over to his mouth before pulling him closer and pressing his lips against Sherlock’s.

They stood together quietly for a few minutes before John smiled. “That must have been either the worst or the best Anti-Valentine’s Day party in history.”

“The best. Absolutely the best.” Sherlock smiled and wrapped his arms around John’s waist. “And I still have the kitten tattoos,” he added, running a finger up and down John’s lower back.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just silliness. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, let me know.  
> @narwhalneerdowell on tumblr


End file.
